Love Forbidden
“You will never be accepted into society if you continue eating like that, Alessandra,” my mother squeaked, as I began my second piece of cake. I looked down at my stomach and shrugged, going back to my cake. “Honestly, child, you would think one never feeds you.” This is an argument my mother and I have constantly. Why can she not see that I do not care what society thinks of me? I am her commodity…her way of making a name for herself in society and I hate it. Ever since I became old enough to wear a corset she has been parading me around like I am for sale, but here I suppose I am. She is constantly picking at the fact that I want to wear my long auburn hair down. “You cannot wear your hair like that once you are at
I sigh and take a long look at my mother, debating whether or not to retort. Finally, I say, “Mother, look at me. Do I honestly have anything to worry about? My waist is fine and I shant disgrace you in public with my looks. For Heavens sake please let me enjoy myself this evening, especially if you are sending me off to some snooty school in September.”
“The school is not snooty. It will help you find a true match for your future or would you rather be like your cousin, Susan, working as a governess for six children?”
“It isn’t Susan’s fault that her mother and father died. Why didn’t you send her away to school and pay for it? I’m sure she would rather go.”
“She is not my daughter, therefore, not my responsibility.”
“She is your niece and my cousin. She deserves something from this family, you know.”
“Can we please stop this?” My father interjected. “Every evening it is the same thing. The two of you constantly bicker. I would much rather enjoy my dinner in peace tonight. Martha she is fine and she shall not have trouble finding a husband. We have the most beautiful daughter in all of
“As long as she does not speak before they marry her,” my brother smarts. I see his smug smile staring into his plate. Ah, my dashing and handsome older brother, Henry. He shall be the heir of my father’s estate and the one who is a royal pain for me to put up with. He thinks that because he is two years older that he knows much more that I do, simply because I am a woman. Lately, he has been dining with a gentlemen’s club, hoping to gain favor with them and become a member, but God help us all if he does, for their will be no living with him then.
My father turns to look at him and says only, “Leave you sister alone, Henry. Now, how was dinner at the club?”
He sighs quietly and responds. “Same as usual. I had a riveting time with the other men. Hopefully, they will admit me soon to their ranks.” I roll my eyes and look down at the piece of cake in front of me, trying to drown out all talk of my brother’s new status in society. I am always such a burden to this family, simply because I am a woman. Oh, what I wouldn’t give to be accepted to them like my brother.
“Perhaps someone should take a plate of food to Mr. Rujul. I am sure he would like to have a hot meal.” It is my mother’s voice, breaking my concentration.
“Rujul?” I asked.
“Yes, he is the new coachmen you father hired.”
“Oh, I shall take the food to him. I would like to meet our new coachmen.” I jump up and leave the room before anyone can object to my sudden rudeness. I grab a plate from Marge, our housekeeper, and go outside into the warm summer heat. I walk down the pathway, past the garden on either side and into the stable area. I hold my breath for fear of losing my dinner from the smell. A small boy, no more than ten, is standing outside the stable. “I am looking for Mr. Rujul.” I tell him.
“’e’s o’er there, by the ‘orses,” he responds with a deep Irish accent. He bows and steps aside, so that I may enter the stable.
I walk into the stable where my father’s favorite horse, Betsie, is in her stall. Next to the horse is a young man with dark skin and flowing black hair. He is grooming the horse gently. I assumed this is Rujul. I clear my throat and he jumps at the sight of me. He bows as I move closer to the stall. “How do you do, Mr. Rujul? I came to bring you dinner.”
“I am well, thank you, Miss Bristly. How are you this evening?” He brushes his hair from his face and walks out of the stall toward me, taking the plate from my hands.
I shuffle my feet for a moment, trying to think of something to say, for I have never been in the presence of a man without a chaperon before and speaking is unheard of. “I…how are you enjoying our home?”
“It is lovely. I especially like the brook behind the woods.”
“The brook? I have never seen it.”
“You haven’t? Then I shall have to show you sometime. You will love I, if you like nature.”
“I do very much, but as a young lady, I am not supposed to be out in nature too much. My mother says that it is not good for the complexion.”
“No, perhaps not, but sometimes it is good for the lungs. At least until these fancy factories are all over
“I like the factories. They will make a nice addition to society. We need the industrialization.”
“I take it you are in favor of chopping up
I am insulted by his comment, but I do not let on. “I am nothing like my father, Mr. Rujul, and I can tell you have your own opinions on the matter that conflict with that of most of
“Your angry with me, aren’t you?”
“I am not angry, sir. I am simply in a hurry to return to my home before my mother lays an egg.”
“Please, I am sorry for my behavior. I should not judge without knowing. Shall I show you the brook tomorrow? Will that help you not be angry with me?” He smiles and I cannot help but giggle within myself.
“Yes, you may show me the brook tomorrow, but it will have to be early in the morning, for my mother would never approve of me leaving the house without her.”
“I shall meet you here as the sun rises.” He bows to me and I walk away, smiling.
The moment I step into the house my mother begins questioning about why it took me so long to “deliver a plate of food to an Indian”. I tell her that he was talking to me about the horses and that it shant happen again. Wanting some alone time I walk upstairs to my room and close the door, locking it behind me. I sit by the window and stare down to the stables, watching all the caretakers bustle about doing their chores. I sigh and blow out the candle next to my bed, so that I may sleep, at last.